More tranny stories later!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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