when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
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Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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