She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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