you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
