I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
