One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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