AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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