Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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