Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
