I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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