In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
