dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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