when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is Oprah even human
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
