Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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