I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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