you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
