Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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