Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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