At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
