People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My breasts were aching with rage.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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