Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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