Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
