I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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