I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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