break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
