Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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