she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
