I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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