no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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