What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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