Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is classic penis vs brain.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
