Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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