is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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