He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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