mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
