butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
