I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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