Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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