forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
