Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
