So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
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Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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