you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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