I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
