That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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