you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
