nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
