My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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