hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You made out with two different species that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize