im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
