Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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