I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
