The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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