I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
