the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
