No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
