I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i've created a new STD.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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