I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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