Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Congratulations! We have a period
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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