She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
