I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
