I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
its liver damage thursday
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize