Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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