She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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