Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
