i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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