once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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