And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
