omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
