oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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