just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
